Warning: This is very long haha
Right so my boyfriend was at a Debs the last day and his ex was there. She told my friend at the start of the night that she was really surprised he had a new girlfriend and that he was meant to be getting back with her(she had it in her head that if she broke up with him he'd come chasing after her and when he didn't she wasn't happy, I mean why did she break up with him so? Idiot) anyways, she told my friend that I meant nothing and was just an obstical and she basically didn't care about me and she was going to get him back. She tried him all night but he kept telling her to stop. Now all this girls friends are going out with my bf's male friends so they've a tight little keeping it in the friends type thing going on and the girls and the guys don't appriciate when the other guys find girls outside their circle, que me. So when my bf kept telling her to stop she decided to enlist the help of her friends. They told their boyfriends to keep buying my bf drinks and as he got drunker tell him to get with his ex, he still kept saying no but they kept buying him more and more drinks till he could barely stand (I met him after and I seen how drunk he was, I'm surprised he was even able to walk over to me) eventually when he was drunk enough for her plan to work she moved in and got with him. Straight after he rang me and told me straight up, he kept saying sorry and he loved me and he was an idiot and he sounded very very drunk. I was in town too so I told him I'd meet him so we could talk. He told me to break up with him, slap him, kick him or just hurt him in any way I can think of to make him feel as hurt as I must feel. He told me he doesn't know what happened, he kept telling her to stop but then the next minute he was kissing her and then he snapped back into reality pushed her away and went outside to ring me. I told him I was mad, he'd lost my trust, told him that if I was to forgive him it'd take time and he'd have to prove he meant he was sorry. He really poured his heart out to me that night. He was practically passed out, couldn't sit up for more than 5 seconds, kept losing consciousness and all the rest but that's when the truth comes out isn't it? A drunken mind speaks sober truths. He told me he was scared at how much he loved me. He said he could honestly see us being together till we're old in rocking chairs with grandchildren running around out garden. He said that the fact he thinks he's found his soul mate so young (he's 18 in november) is scary, the thought of never being single again is weird even though he doens't want any other girl, just me. He said when he's with me he can always hear his heart going 'Thud' 'Thud' 'Thud' and every kiss feels like the first. He said he's told girls h'es loved them but when he tells me it's different, and he knows now the other times weren't real love. Then he went on to tell me all the things he loves about me.
I met him twice since then, the first time I made sure he knew I was still mad and he wasn't going to get away with it that easily. The second time I told him I was still mad but less because I'd founf out that day that all his friends were betting he'd get with his ex and were trying to make it happen to win the bet and the fact that she was doing the same. I told him the odds were against him and I know people can do bad things when they're drunk, been there, bought the t-shirt. But i'm still going to be hurt and he's going to have to do alot to fix the damage he's done. So we're working it out amoung ourselves because it's our business, no one elses and I prefer it that way because when other people get involved they plant seeds of doubt which fester and ruin the best of things (happened to my last boyfriend, I didn't go a single day without someone, even if i'd never met them before, commenting on how I shouldn't be going out with this guy and eventually I couldn't take it anymore and I regret that ever since but that can't happen this time because my bf is amazing, he gets me, no one gets me! I'm a freak for goodness sake! I've barely any friends who don't think i'm crazy so never mind actually having a bf who loves me.) and my friend who told me about his ex's friend is friends with my bf's friend and he was telling my friend how he can't understand how I haven't broken up with my bf yet and my friend told him to leave it, that it's our business and she's sure I haven't just forgiven him, just that I'm not going to give up on him so easy, that we'll work it out ourselves and whatever we agree on is outr business. That's the way it should be! But nooo I get home today and I have a fb mail from some girl I've never heard of saying "Hi am apparently you know that (insert name here) cheated on you at debs, bit of advice stay away from him before he really hurts you x " That 'x' at the end pisses me off too. I bet she's one of his ex's friends who wants to get my bf back in their creepy little dating friends circle. ick.So I posted that on PT earlier after that girl emailed me ranting about how I hate when people get involved in other peoples business. Who's she to tell me what to do? Never even heard of the girl.
I get it, what he did was wrong but everyone makes mistakes. I've always said when asked if I'd forgive a cheater that it depends on three things: 1) The severity of it, i.e how long it lasted (if it was a full on affair they can fuck off), what they did (if they had sex he can fuck off too) and if they were honestly really really really drunk i'd go easier but still wouldn't be an excuse. 2) How soon after they told me and if they told me out of their own conscience or because they knew it'd get back to me eventually and knew it'd be better coming from them and 3) What they did after. Actions speak louder than words so they really have to prove they were sorry and regain my trust.
Keith fairly fit into all 3 of those. He only kissed her and he was really drunk and I think safe to say pressured into it and he rang me straight after (I know it was straight after because just after he rang me my friend who said she'd keep an eye out for him text me saying she was sorry but she lost him and her date thinks he just saw him with his ex but they weren't too sure so i'm guessing safely he kissed her, realised what he was doing and ran off outside to ring me. He even left his debs after ringing me and passed out across the road which is where I met him. And he's promising he'll make it up to me. He even promised to cut down on his drinking, He said drinking that much isn't work it if it makes him do stupid things like that and he doesn't want to risk losing me again so I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt for now. I'll write more when I learn more because whether he sticks to his word is the important part.
Bye for now =)
xx
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